March ends

Didn't realise I didn't write yesterday...
a late day for me.. and again as it is, when I returned at about 1pm by bus home, it was late. ended up at office at about 2
then went over to IDBI for giving the cheques..
by the time got home was 1130

lost my handkerchief on the way to IDBI... slept off and the thing fell from my hands..
stupid mistake

then today.. the project start news comes... delayed by another week
left office at 4 to get back for the experience certificate..
ended up watching Watchmen.. interestingly shot..

met Bala's friend Vidita.. and hope of all hopes.. might get a lead to work on the VO thing... hope of ALL hopes

learn patience

Most time I end up wondering why I keep losing my patience with Pappa...

he is there to teach me a lesson.. which I have not learnt yet.. about how to deal with him
I am not able to understand how I can be more patience with him and ensure his irritating way of loud talking can be used to the advantage of the situation..

i am lost... and hope this will not last long and that I can be a better person.. soon.. everytime

and Sunday was an interesting day otherwise too.. the morning was spent digging.. digging out a mound that turned out to be of termites... and a whole tale of nature opened up before me.
now we are at a war with these blind softshelled creatures which can cause nightmare for us if they get into the house...

the chemical war to bar them from entering is going to begin soon...
Rydco pest control team has been deployed at 8000/- for a 3 yr contract for termite protection, and 5000/- for pest control 1 yr contract to keep our house safe...
I hope I can find some natural means to eliminate these creatures for good too....

Slow Saturday

Weekdays and Weekends feel the same when I am in Indore. and it happens because I just don't feel like going out.

Today i wanted to get started early but it so happened that could not get the SBI ATM letters out in time. Nor was I able to complete the Citicard email for Pappa sooner.

by the time got out to the bank was already 1145
SBI GPO is the pathetic representation of Indian public sector banking scenario in the 'developed' cities of this nation.
probably the banks in other under developed and victimised cities and states might be still operationally inefficient but this particular branch of this city is at it's pathetic best...
being the head branch, it does not have a Draft preparing system - most often it is not working.
bank employees here are the most inept and bungling idiots who have no regard for others time and respect no one else but their own idiotic ways of being.

I thought over time something might have improved, but last 1 year.. it had probably gone worse for me at least...

rest of the after noon spent trying to balance the travel plans but didn't work out since there were too many deciding factors and mainly that there were no tickets available online.. all tatkal only which will have to be bought from the station 5 days in advance.. so.. no luck on that

evening met up-coincidentally with Naresh-who seems more confident now, more mature, and probably will be more balanced.
came to know that the 2x2 sitting buses by the bigger bus travel companies have been stopped.. a ploy for them to earn for their sleeper buses though they might be running 2x2 also but not publicising them any more .. paid 500/- for that return ticket..

bought the Panasonic battery today.. lets see how much this battery runs on the phone this time..

Virodhi Namasamvatsaram prarambhishyati

A new Hindu year begun today... by the name Virodhi
With this starts my new session .. with my parents blessings that I have them with me in this time and that they are seeing such good times for all of us...

Traveled home today.. took a half day yesterday.. took the decision early in the morning that I should be here.. called up the bus counter and got a ticket in the morning.. 500/- heafty fine for this travel... went to work, returned around 415pm.. while the bus was to be boarded at 5.. had no time for anything. so just about watered the plants, washed the vessels, repacked the bag and moved out.. left some milk in the fridge. hope that would remain as it is.. the fridge cleaning task is still pending....

started off at about 1725 from near Goregaon flyover.. in the AC bus.. the Haraynvi driver and cleaner setting up an interesting war of words and thoughts.. kept me engaged at the way a city can be a confluence of different cultures.. with the pickup guy being a Maharashtrian and they all working for a Punjabi company owner... living in MP... what a diversity of life and thoughts... trying to make a living for success..

took about hour and a half reaching Sion.. and there ended up with a good bunch of 3 fellows.. 2 business guys, 1 MTech guy and we spent the whole night almost till 1am.. discussing life in Bombay and the way this nation is.. the business people were very well travelled in India, and had stories to tell.. the way the nation is in different parts of the states.. very very interesting experiences some of them...
both of them were from Gujarat, Jains and very downtoearth.. at least at the informal level..
very pucca business people.

also had company of a TechM female employee..

so slept around 1am.. thru till about 9.. with one stop in between in the morning which I thoguht was Sendhwa but it was not... turned out it was later where the bus did not stop...
with a delay of almost 3 hours.. reached around 1pm instead of 10am. Bad traffic management due to the huge workload happening for 4-laning the NH3...in progress at at various parts along Maharashtra and MP... India 're-developing'

The baby's news is being considered at different levels.. need to talk to Amma and Pappa about their views.. how to progress with what all preparations are needed... and what is to be expected next..

Amma has shown some thought process about ultrasound progress.. seems she has concerns of some kind - will have to check on that...

Got the new Set Top Box installed.. SR cable with ACT Digital TV company tie-up
earlier it was B-Tv with Hathway.. seemed to be a better option but will have to now try this box for 1 day on a trial basis to decide if they want to continue with it or not.. paying 1000/- for the STB..

the cable TV operators are the moguls of TV distribution world these days.. they are the ones who control the stakes of distribution so customers have no choice but to go whoever is there in their area.. no other options are available for customers.. and one has to live with the whims and fancies of these guys...
we don't know if this 1000/- is something they are charging us only or others too...
this is how things are here..

Kotak card, dud day

Finally the Kotak cards arrived today... after all that drama

The day was a lost one... saw the shooting of serial next door.. some funeral scene.. how much they put into that sequence.. the wood, the fire, the sequence... shot a clip on the Palm..

still undecided if I can start the MBA.. but i have to
can't keep sitting on line here like this

wanted to start reading Sanskrit today.. didn't. so how do I stop being online... and focus on more important things on hand????

Pappa's credit card fees discussion.. kind of got angry .. felt bad later that I shd have been more careful about controling my temper.. he probably didn't pay attention.. i need to help him out.
i still feel apprehensive about him driving all alone.. I am praying BajrangBali will protect him all along..
i am still getting thoughts i need to leave all this and go back..

Whacked out Monday

SBI - ATM annual fees case, no luck was a waste of time to get them to resolve the issue
ended up giving them a letter to reverse the charges though I doubt they will do it..
lousy employees who have no clue what is happening with their policies.. govt. attitude is so pathetic

MTNL - bigger disappointment, went to 4th floor
then was asked to go to ground floor - accounts dept. both are rogues.. how can a rogue expect to have a system in place that will not be selective about people making mistakes?
since people have taken the system for a ride with insider help, now the system will not spare even the innocent.. that's the fact of life today
I deposited the bill by mistake.. but a case like mine would be miniscule i would think so..
but they still have no system in place for exceptions..
it's all about the blame game
ended up paying 1040 by cash.. no point in fighting an already rotten system
it will eventually crumble soon... my ill-will for it

TATA AIG - further disappointment..
the Mahalife policy was surrendered today, had this nagging feeling that I should do it before the due date but didn't have the courage to come back all the way again and waste the whole day ... for 300/- more

my own Investassure policy has bombed.. and I have lost about 24000/- due to idiotic carelessness about not keeping myself updated with the policy working...
have to now keep a tab on this too and the ICICI one also

but at least got Nokia 3310 working.. with a new battery.
got the camera battery charged, and for some interesting battery related reason... the zoom worked fine
have to try in the day time and see .... maybe it is a battery problem!!!

reached office at 1030 left at 1115 reached back at 1920
that's just for 3 tasks located in a radius of 3 km.
the city is crumbling and there is no one to improve it AT ALL
better to leave this place sooner... than after all is lost

Tiring Sunday

Had a working sunday cleaning the house, and arranging things...
had a hot water dip for my feet.. they are aching like hell... don't know what is the cause and I hope it just gets better soon...

spent the day with no lunch and strangely didn't feel hungry either ..don't know why

Got the cordless Caller ID phone working; need to shift it to Indore

Bujju seems to be disturbed there, for some reason.. wants to return back soon. maybe she is worried about the medical treatment there/?? not saying anything directly. not sure why . just asking me to book return tickets.

before she returns, i need to have things in place with doctor's address/number handy and some people close by. am not talking to neighbor's so not sure how that part will go
will hv to talk to Rachana Parihar
have to arrange things in the house also and should be careful not to stress her out in any way
bai arrangement... a big headache
bujju asked about zinc containing foods.. she just reads up something and gets worried I guess.. but hope she don't get too worked up.

i have been having right kidney side pain in the last week.. even today, slight fluttering pain
not sure why.. water i am drinking. maybe outside food???

she needs to practice her music.. will have to see how to arrange for that.

neighbors were out of town for a couple of days.. seem to have gone to Delhi or Jaipur - they always travel by flight. not sure how he manages so much money... in these times.
returned today.. first she and kid and now he... hmm

downloading chants - yest. got AR Rahman composition, today Himalayan chants

working Saturday

not sure what all I want to write today.. with yesterday's day spent in a little better way planning for today, i did get some work done today though it would take me to really get down tomorrow to get the mobile phone issue and the letter from society sorted out
then i have to clean up the fridge and sweep and iron... so more work tomorrow and i am still on the net...

reading in bits and pieces about the baby journey.. and in deep thought about whether to tackle PMP first, going by the story of the ESG person Bordia (can't remember her name!!) or take up MBA.
will have to take a call on this soon. PMP might work better but then I need to prepare really hard for it - like Sandhya said, 2 months full preparation.
I have time till Aug. in a way!
make it happen man!

somehow i am making more use of my time.. and i need to keep doing that during office time too... went to Dadar in the eve, bought a camera battery for 950/- some Camelion brand replacing ENEL1
not sure how it will work out but they say it's going to have a longer life.
Anthony Robbins 3 parts made me think... yes it is my decisions that are slow and I am wasting too much time thinking about which decision to take... decisions are decisions.. i can't think about them too much! got to work on this aspect

Re-learning the brain

Have begun reading this book which I bought last year.. Cross Train your Brain
Kind of a traditional + western knowledge about how to improve ones ability to resolve thoughts and reach goals by re-training the brain to come out of standard modes of thought and approach different scenarios in the unconventional ways.

Going by some key aspects in it, what comes out for me is that surely I am not currently performing in my comfort zone, that I have some other things that are my priorities but none of my current work aligns with the priorities that I 'think' I have. This is an area I need to work on - define my priorities... is it a tangible thing like money, apartment, car, vehicle?
is it an intangible thing like fame, more intangible health and care for parents and family?

how do I define my priorities?

maybe this could be an answer to what I need to do for my life.. I have always been wanting to take a break and complete pending things.. but since the Tata Unisys time, since like 2002 when I got back from the US, I never was able to really take time out for important things that really mattered - which I think are my priorities... which I need to redefine now!

maybe that is the reason I am still here, and maybe I will be able to get to a better place once I redefine and re-work my life around my priorities..

I just don't sit as I used to way back then, to write things down at peace. I have some or the other worry at the back of my mind... and that keeps me from getting the satisfaction I seek or I used to get way back when I used to get out there and do photography, or meet friends.

Maybe somewhere, the fear and decrease in self-confidence has hit me hard... and I am not able to coherently put my thoughts together.

But it is this time that I need to use, the time when bujju is away, I have limited distractions and I have time on my hand... once this time goes, I will be in a lurch again... thinking that I wasted this time too...

Household chores

working full time at home is not an easy task.. as I have discovered and to my additional internet addiction, have also seen it is all the more impossible to be able to complete all work in time and still have some time to 'relax'

This luxury of relaxation seems to be a very far away item on my agenda now onwards. I see how tracking and keeping pace with everything needs so much focus and attention esp. because 4 hours of my time are literally lost not being able to do any other work... only traveling stuffed up in a bus...

So going forward, each and every minute has to be made to count towards each and every goal I am trying for... including defining those goals.
I believe I need to now work on a plan by planning my work which I never did so long. Esp. also because I need to set up an example for the family which is my biggest concern now.

Work will start from Monday as indicated yesterday. I need to see how hectic this will be to be able to plan the rest of my days. For 1 frikkin full year, I have wasted my time..
now I have things that are all the more important
a. MBA within 1 year with exams every 2 months; Rs. 8000 + 2400 fees including exams and material
b. PMP - this looks like a lost item for now. I will have to re-work all my options and submit my application again sometime later esp. because of the expenses... $405 = Rs. 25000 almost looking at Rs. 52/- to the $
c. Baby attention - medical and all things logistical
d. Relocation to a new apartment if possible - expensive to say the least (Rent of the month + deposit around 1 lac)
e. Car if I can afford this too in the above list.
f. attention towards amma and pappa which I have as a very high priority though in parallel, the career front will get impacted if I go back to Indore.
so all these are now going to hit hard if I don't plan well and well enough

work week begins

The week again started off with me dreading how much work I will end up with... I think my tendency to work hard hhas been hit by the last one year of complacency... and now I wonder how I will be able to ensure that I can take up the new role, manage time between family and work and also be able to study...
Thinking - they say - makes man dull.. but without a thought process, one can't get things done too.. the difference is in probably thinking coherently than just thinking randomly.
I think randomly and I don't put things in an order... so this is another cause of my worry.

On the other hand was also worried about transferring these traits down.. if I am not able to handle my own situation, what can I guide a kid with. but then, these are thoughts we all probably go through and we have to live in the present as I read in the book - Cross Train your brain. I believe one will have to stay put in the present and stop worrying.

So now that we are in the 12th week, and I have not had a chance to interact with bujju effectively enough to spend time with her in person, I am worried... I hope I will be able to at least go home before the event so that I can be with her for the period... I am just not able to get down to think through this... which is the weakness I need to deal with. thinking of going back to the psychologist to resolve this process.

But either way, work will begin this week and from next, we will be in a state of transition from someone out in BT. I am again praying that this should be a manageable assignment and hoping in all hopes for it to be 'easy' to manage from home.

Spending Sunday

Ended up spending around 1500/- today in getting the new bedding made and the suitcase handle repaired...
the biggest issue with me now is - I do not negotiate.. I am very bad at negotiating and asking for better pricing... I just can't think how to get to talk to a person and get to negotiate things with the person on any matter... and more importantly so.. about money..

I am just hoping this kind of an attitude is not passed down... it is basically fear that has surrounded me and keeps me constantly in check and with fear is this constant nag of - what to do in the situation? how to talk, what to talk, how to get someone's interest in what I have to say and how to say things more forcefully... this is my problem now.. as I see what is stopping me from going forward...

anyways, so sunday is gone this way, entered some Reliance Phone bill details in the system and spent all evening on it.. another waste of time and no focus on either PMP or anything that I could get to read..

the house looks a mess adding to all my confusion and I don't know where to start to clean up if I sit on line like this...

Gulal day

Got a whole day to try and clean up things.. and I have done some bit of it...
finally figured how it took a huge time to work on ones own at home trying to do everything without a maid... and how bujju actually has struggled to try and get things done by lunch but never was able to.. and I used to scold her

anywhichways I told her that... I wanted to clear that aspect of my thought process...
had started to read about the pregnancy cycle but never got around to it.. yesterday was at Crossword looking for some other book and happened to read about baby care... was shaken a bit.. visualizing things and reading how the baby actually changes our lives...
we are weid characters - us humans
need to get Dr. Spock's book... another lady also stopped by and asked for it at Crossword yesterday.. maybe a to-be-mother .. I guess the Dr. has made a mark on the world of parenting.. have to find that book online now

today ended up being out by 5pm to get the bed repair work started..
had an hour ong discussion with the shop guy - surely I tried to get all ways to know what options I had and how much it would cost..
ended up getting a re-work on the existing bedding done at 1300/-
now sure how it will be and I need to work on my patience and trust to get this done with no hassles.. I hope I will be able to

and then got called for Gulal... and I was blown away by the movie. and by the director Anurag Kashyap's approach... he slits things through and makes it totally real and gory.. the approach is raw to reality.
Gulal at least brought that imagery.. including the raw dialogues and the cuss words...

would have wanted to see it with bujju but not in these times...

Friday the 13th

Second friday in this year that was a 13th, and coincidentally, Feb and Mar have the same dates for the day days till the 28th.. interestingly so.

Today the mail came through which earmarked me to Bombay center.
I am back to the base but now i am all the more restless.

Also got a call from the neighbor asking about bujju... her health... very surprisingly so.
Maybe they did realise that someone was living around in our house alone and that she had not visited them in a while. Good for me in a way too...

Nevertheless, with the gyan shared by the new manager Sameer, I am feeling very down and dejected.. the whole work mood seems to have gone very low for me.. very sinking like that I have been feeling lately.

I am seeing that this whole thing will become a routine and I can't take a routine. I need a change and that has to be fast. There are so many pending things, all of which depends on financial conditions...
Need to buy Mohan mama's plot, not sure for what but just to prevent anyone from buying it and leaving our house in the lurch... Amma and Pappa need support now and this is the time I should be spending with them but how??? what can I do to go there or how can I get them here... I want them with me forever but I know with my current state I am neither able to do anything nor am able to make anything happen for the future...

Only if I had some money in hand, I would have probably left this city and went back to start something on my own.. I don't know what that could be but something.... Training and education comes to my mind but I am fearing the how of it and the what of it... how will I do it and what will I do..

looking at this mind of mine I feel so scared of the future.. where am I going to go like this, all dependant on just this job and the overall economic and job scene gloom all around.
These things weigh on my head but I Am not able to focus on one thing at a time.
I need to complete PMP, MBA and then take up another JOB!!!! can't I do anything on my own... and if so, what is the plan I need to have

now with the baby coming along.. how can I be more grounded? What can I really do????

Terminal Thursday

This could probably be one of the last Thursdays I have in the last 1 year that I have been 'with no deliverable and practially no work'
The scene will change from Monday when I will have to start 'working'

I regret the last 1 year I have lost... not gained anything in the whole suspense situation that led me to believe that I will have some project or the other to work on. Moreover, even on the home front, I have been only occupied with the internet once i reached back home... the cycle has still not ended for that is what I end up doing even today...

today I didn't put on the TV in the morning. for a change, want now to focus on work and related matters that should give me more time to focus on improvements than just sit online and do nothing constructive.

I need to spend on some key items...
a. good digital camcorder
b. car
c. bedding
d. dining table
e. computer table

in parallel, I should get to shift the existing beds to someplace where they can be put to some good use... I am hardly using the bed in the hall due to the dust it collects on itself...

now, the time is also in for me to focus on things I need to do rather than sit online and shag..

Holi was here

a dreary day spent on the net - got the DVR-MS converted last night into WMA
tried to edit the wma file but didn't get too far with it...
wanted to sit and study but the attention deficit disorder seems to have taken over.. I need more focus and concentration now..

mentally and physically i am still not ready for the event 6 months down the line.. i think I will rudely wake up one day again like last time and rush into things if I don't do a deliberate attempts to get things in place... for instance, the bed needs to be made up, an A/C might need to be installed.. or a net for that matter to prevent mosquitoes from getting in, and make some space in the living room.. and if possible, find a new place..
i am stuck in this decision between a car or an apartment on rent.. both cost me heavy and I Am not sure which works out better... maybe a car will have to be a second hand one... and the apartment move has to be reconsidered.. either moving permanently to Indore or ..

I'm confused... I hope I will be able to become more decisive in the next few months cos I can't have a situation where everyone depends on me and I am waiting on my own decisions!!!!

Tuesday tryst

I almost started writing this and I got a call from the manager.. lets hope for the best of assignments.

today is Eid.. and Holi - the start of Spring
an year passed when I last remembered a shooting at Chandivali Studio next door on a day maybe just after holi, that a serial was being shot, with Holi as a theme, I remember some characters in white sarees/kurta pajama shooting for the serial, they had an elaborate set up of colors and all...
how time flies... it is that time of the year again

And I was wondering about Eid... today is Eid again... how many times do they celebrate Eid??? I thought it was just a couple of months back with Diwali there was Eid... now again!!!

So now after this meeting with my manager, I am told I need to take handover starting next week.. from either a TCS guy or a Virtuasa guy. Not really sure how this whole thing will go ahead, an year at the least I want to spend here I believe will be the case unless I find another option before that...

Either way, I need to plan my vacation also during this time and get bujju along and drop her at Indore, or maybe wait for some period by end April to take this time out.. lets hope there will be some leeway for this...

Meandering monday

Monday almost is passing off with little achievement.

If email to Vodafone about my incorrect billing, collecting the documents for home loan shift, and starting to read 2-3 slides of ITIL V3 is some achievement then...

didn't get to really start thinking about how I will be planning this move to Indore.. the only option I see is through academic pedagogy...

otherwise, looking up a car, or trying to somehow complete PMP and ITIL and MBA are occupying my head.. including how I will plan my time with the delivery management work I am supposed to start doing..

apart from this, the thought crossed my head a couple of times... today being 09-03-09 and me targeting the arrival of the baby on 09-09-09... it's pure 6 months of a journey that the baby would have going by any accuracy in the developmental process and if there are no complications...
the ultrasound report mentioned a due date of 11-09-09 or 22-09-09 but I am hoping for a 09-09-09 or 18-09-09 either of them being the apt dates as a anniversary gift for amma and pappa...

I better stop worrying about their pains and focus on how to get myself in position to help them in the times to come....

Sunday post

Sunday came and went... I am still there.. didn't do much again but feel very tired by the end of it all
Tried not to get online but could'nt stop doing that... shows the amount of weakness I have in my head... I have been trying to bring some change to my routine but it seems my efforts are not sufficient.
wanted to get this DVRMS converter downloaded, but since it was a 9MB file, and I didn't have access to the MTNL website to check my usage, I thought I'd do it after midnight... but after midnight I completely forgot about what I was to do and slept off and now in the morning realised that I didn't download the file

the MTNL monitor site is still not up.. so don't know what is my usage level and how much is left.
this is one huge readon for me to sit late on the PC.. and I need to change the way this happens too.. maybe get a new plan or something.

Weather wise the heat has been turned on since around 10th Feb. Today I had to put on the fan for a longer period of time in the day.. also maybe because I didn't open the windows fully lest the dust flows in, as I had cleaned up the floors and with the heat trapped in the room with the glass windows, the temperature had shot up.
Leaving the windows open in the night might lead to the lizards getting in which is another 'fear' I am living with

Had this interesting tiff with a shopper at Hypercity.
For a change, I saw people come together to stop someone going the wrong way...
something like this could be that people are getting a little more conscious or that they were all very impatient today to get away with that lady's cartload full at a express checkout counter.

don't know which was which but well, the Hypercity staffers need to make sure this does not happen again.

my target now is ITIL and PMP

Tiring Saturday

I had a kind of lazy saturday but I still have some worry in my head... about the future and now the focus will be shifting more to the baby

still have a lot of piled up at home that I need to clean up and arrange
thinking if I should shift the wall unit out of the house....

worried about amma and pappa and their health and am constantly worried about them as usual.. somehow I need to get out of this city and be with them in the next few months.. otherwise as Pranjal warned some time back and as he does regularly... I will repent...

Free Friday

Friday seemed a bit free... tension on the head was low and I got around doing some things I had to do... call Fidelity, get CD cut..

only thing I really didn't do was to go to bed early.. its 0137IST saturday and I am here... doing what i do... waste time..
chatted up with an old acquaintance and heard up her story... as usual as before.

have a ton of things now
PMP
MBA
cleaning up the house mess
preparing for the days ahead
looking for a better change...
planning a trip home

all these and more will come up but if I keep my time up here on the net, I am going to end up with nothing at all.... tomorrow will be a late day again and i will feel wretched again...
anyways.. i guess i am now to look at brighter things soon..
esp. now with Suresh leaving suddenly, I wonder what's going to happen at all... in the job market with so many casualties..

Amma told me about her growing knee pain and pappa's joint pains. I am really scared to think about how unplanned I am today, that I am not with them when they would do best with us around them...
Have to take this call sooner and get into something back home.. now with the baby around, it is all the more a thing of urgency and I have to get cracking on a code to break out of this chakravyuha so help me God.

Touchy Thursday

I think there is something more in store for me which made me get through this situation and remain in Bombay.

There might have been this shock that was sent over to me so that I had to realize that I am in a very tight situation careerwise and in a way from the life's perspective that somehow I had to get into my element to get to influence people to get things done, but now that I think I am out of the transfer situation, I seem to be in a more - tighter - situation where my skills as a negotiator and influencer will get to be tested and surely refined... and also that I will need to manage myself in a more proactive way...

I am now supposed to be a Delivery Manager - owning more than one babies... literally and figuratively...

Weary wednesday...

Almost felt i'd faint today with the amount of tension on the possible role in Bombay or the passing of the buck thing to work in Pune...

The day again poassed away with me wondering what the hell is happening to me and my sanity..

tentative tuesday

well here's another of those tentative days when now I will know what and where i belong

and after i know this, i HAVE TO get back into life... for my baby and for my family now! or never...

having spent the day at work in a numbing way, with no clue why I am doing what I am doing, I spoke to the Noida manager who was tentative in his response... he had asked me to speak to someone in Bombay who 'might' be able to help in swapping a position with a Pune resource and I could continue staying here...
But the Bombay manager was in Pune in a meeting and I was not able to discuss the problem with him. I am hoping that I can hear back from him tomorrow and it will be a positive case but keeping all fingers crossed for the worse of news.

I had been thinking that once bujju gets to Indore, she might feel a little relaxed but also was wondering that she'd be her hesitant usual and that could cause some kind of changes in her overall physiology... this could get translated down and that is my main concern...

Somehow i think my current being of fear is all caused due to the heavy stress amma went through my times... and I hope I don't have to face a similar situation but then... who am I to decide and shape the future when I myself am not in a position to shape my own.

nevertheless, I hope the woman realizes her important contribution to the development of the foetus and takes all suitable steps... just that one can't make someone realise externally... all has to come from within.. just as I am realizing the state of affairs now!!!!

end of tunnel?

For some reason I thought there was some light at the end of the tunnel I am passing through when I spoke to the SPM of Pune.
He happened to tell me that there is a liklihood of me getting a role in Bombay... but again, this depends on the other manager who selected me for the Pune role in the first place...

not sure how true this could be but I hope this comes true. but tomorrow I have to talk to him and see what other bombs he has in his armour to drop on me.

till that time, i might as well take a deep breath.
today went out like a jiffy.. esp. spent with troubleshooting my IE settings and Mozilla options.

sending the Sanskrit Sansthan letter to get the address changed as needed.

another Sunday passes

Writing early Monday IST morning.. hoping I am able to log this on the Sunday time zone of US Pacific...
The Sunday was again a day spent feeling very lazy and totally dis interested in things...

another weekend passed without me logging anything at all though I spent most of the time on the Net since the broadband connection was restored on Sat. 28th Feb..

I didn't accomplish much from what I thought I would do..
like collate all books and bunch them together, collect the CDs and bunch them together... there are things I have not been able to focus on that I SHOULD... this attitude of mine makes me wonder what am I here to achieve..
I was thinking about Akbar this friday, how he managed to do things that otherwise would not have been possible.. The only thought process I get stuck is when it comes to managing finances. I was thinking this Saturday that somehow, this is my biggest weakness that I don't know how to manage money which makes me wonder how well I will succeed in life which is geared all around managing money and TIME....

Went through the Strengths Finder 2.0 site and thought maybe this is something I should again try and see where I go with the knowledge of my strengths.