The weekend was a whirlwind.. and finally.. I am with my bujju.. and the baby.
Left on friday by Hussainsagar express at 2150 or Hyd and started back the next night at 2200 by the Hyd DDR holiday special.. with my precious...
The return journey was hellish in the last phase.. .from the time, almost around noon.. after Daund, the heat literally beat down on us.. the trip down the hills after Pune was unbearable.. esp. because we were in the sleeper class...
The train schedule was so odd that we missed the lunch time while at Pune, there was no other lunch option..
reaching Dadar at 330pm, with a heated head and dried throat, with nothing else to eat, we landed at home around 5 pm..
with a short re-union ritual which got us both sleeping at 930pm, it also got me mad that we lost precious time
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Closer to knowledge
I am getting closer to the reality I will face soon…
Bujju is on the way to Hyderabad, got delayed.. in getting on the train and probably made it around 1230pm today
She has had a good 3 month break.. I am hoping she will be doing well healthwise and I will need to be very practical going forward with everything.
Got to ensure she is able to do things properly at home…. and make arrangements for her comfortable stay.
Realized, having been to Blue Frog last night.. how life is changing all around me.. people have gone from one level to another.. the same area I used to be visiting once upon a time as a technical support guy… today they are all wearing a new garb… and a new skeleton too
Didn’t realize I would miss the change till I am in the changed surroundings.
Something needs to be done about this routine of mine.. this place I am working at and the environment I am creating for myself..
There needs to be a lot of thought I need to put into all this.
Also need to help Pranjal out on his venture.. and get my MBA done.. the course material seemed a drag but I HAVE to stick to some Schedule now…
Awaiting the baby’s presence eagerly!!!!!
-via email
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
closer to re-union
Didn’t get to think about anything major yesterday.
Today, had some detailed discussions with the onsite guy – Kaushik Ramamoorthy…
Sounded very professional and very practical… with some good advice on the delivery model
TechM management spoke to the junta explaining what the Satyam gyan will be like.. didn’t find much there..
My main concern is about how to handle home and work… and Indore.
If there is some way out of that, I will be more than glad to continue in this role… for long.
Bujju is in a pensive mood… all set to get out of her home and get into a new phase of life… we are ready for our re-union on 25th Apr ‘09
Tags: re-union,
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Final weekend
Finally, the week of meeting comes along.. will meet my sweety soon...
weekend was spent getting some house work.. didn't study as usual.. have to HAVE TO
met up with the GSTI gang of yesteryears.. at Powai... thanks to Subrat, met with Somdev, Ashwin, Deepak Agarwal, Vishvesh and Sameer.
upset bujju today scolding her.. but she does not understand sometimes..or maybe chooses not to
bought a puzzle for Avani. Hope she will like it and will use it.
somewhere i thought that all this gifting will make those people think I am like going to be the perpetual giver for them.. some expectations I need to limit up.. and I hope to be more careful in trying to understand all these aspects... and act accordingly... 'cos the woman will want to show off to her people and will approach me to do that..
politically correct writing is more important keeping future in mind..
figured out my asset/liability breakup.. roughly and I hope I will be able to correct the spendings on
a. insurance- this has to be a term insurance and reduce the rest. have spent 7.8 lac already on premium.. try to surrender and get the rest back for future investment
b. monthly expenses - reduce this specifically.. phone
got the HLN stuff for the next few months and also to lend to the Hyd people. that's another set of expense I need to revert back by making them members... hope to do this on 25th itself.
interestingly, today I was able to buy the tickets for 24th.. LUCKiLY..
I thought the bookings will open tomorrow but apparently, on 19th, they would have opened for 24th - 5 days from today.. so luckily, was able to buy tatkal, paying 482/- bucks for a 330/- ticket... what a bunch of cheats the railways have become...
watched Animal Planet -the Masai Mara scavenger series, the Wildebeeste river crossing and the feeding event.. an awesome spectacle of Nature which could not have been caught in any better way than the way it was presented... an annual feeding ritual for the crocs, the vultures, the herons, and all other scavengers which 'plan and prepare' for this event of the year, waiting an easy capture... all towards satisfying one simple natural need... hunger.
life's cruel when you look at all this.. but that's what is life.. we have to learn to get over it and do what we have to do.. just as the Wildebeeste are programmed AND follow without question - the crossing of the river after 4 months of walk and dying along the way... that's life
weekend was spent getting some house work.. didn't study as usual.. have to HAVE TO
met up with the GSTI gang of yesteryears.. at Powai... thanks to Subrat, met with Somdev, Ashwin, Deepak Agarwal, Vishvesh and Sameer.
upset bujju today scolding her.. but she does not understand sometimes..or maybe chooses not to
bought a puzzle for Avani. Hope she will like it and will use it.
somewhere i thought that all this gifting will make those people think I am like going to be the perpetual giver for them.. some expectations I need to limit up.. and I hope to be more careful in trying to understand all these aspects... and act accordingly... 'cos the woman will want to show off to her people and will approach me to do that..
politically correct writing is more important keeping future in mind..
figured out my asset/liability breakup.. roughly and I hope I will be able to correct the spendings on
a. insurance- this has to be a term insurance and reduce the rest. have spent 7.8 lac already on premium.. try to surrender and get the rest back for future investment
b. monthly expenses - reduce this specifically.. phone
got the HLN stuff for the next few months and also to lend to the Hyd people. that's another set of expense I need to revert back by making them members... hope to do this on 25th itself.
interestingly, today I was able to buy the tickets for 24th.. LUCKiLY..
I thought the bookings will open tomorrow but apparently, on 19th, they would have opened for 24th - 5 days from today.. so luckily, was able to buy tatkal, paying 482/- bucks for a 330/- ticket... what a bunch of cheats the railways have become...
watched Animal Planet -the Masai Mara scavenger series, the Wildebeeste river crossing and the feeding event.. an awesome spectacle of Nature which could not have been caught in any better way than the way it was presented... an annual feeding ritual for the crocs, the vultures, the herons, and all other scavengers which 'plan and prepare' for this event of the year, waiting an easy capture... all towards satisfying one simple natural need... hunger.
life's cruel when you look at all this.. but that's what is life.. we have to learn to get over it and do what we have to do.. just as the Wildebeeste are programmed AND follow without question - the crossing of the river after 4 months of walk and dying along the way... that's life
Friday, April 17, 2009
signs of comfort??
This morning, I came to think of how I come back home, spend time in front of the TV and internet.
I do not blink twice to even think of what I need to do if I stop doing this waste of time activity.
I need to get a plan in place once I am back home.
I need to:
- have clothes ironed for the next day;
- see the house has sufficient supplies of everything needed to run without having to run out every one or two days to buy things
- see the finance related items are tracked once every month – identify a day to focus on bank tasks, and one day on investment tracking
- discuss Indore issues weekly and see alternatives for that
o construction funding
o health checkup schedules
- monitor health, identify good doctors around, talk to Rachana
- identify a good financial planner to monitor insurance needs, investment plans
- plan for pre-payment of loan, set aside funds every month for that
- read Read READ and Study rather than TV and internet
be focused and use time effectively despite the travel
do all this with the work pressure that is likely to be on for a long time – if I need to maintain the financial situation I am in;
improvement of this situation is a different aspect altogether which needs a different strategy which I have not thought about yet…
bujju called last night but Since I had a nature call, didn’t spend time with her.. she was feeling disappointed…I felt
somewhere inside, today I felt that I should not worry too much about the work. I should just understand the key areas I have to focus on and take the rest as they come along
Kaushik seems to be a trustworthy guy but one never knows.. have to understand how I can get all the info I need, and what would be the right questions to ask…
I hope I will be able to pick the right areas soon… and go with a positive approach!!!
So help me – good forces!!!
spoke to bujju about the doctor's visit. bujju has been told that she should have felt some movement, and that this was just the beginning of the 18th week, so the doctor suggested to wait for another week for the movement to be felt. Seems that the doctor might be taking some casual approach or maybe she is buying time to tell her observations.. can't be sure what... I for myself based on the calc. tool of pregnency seem to conclude this is the 18th week.. considering 19th Dec to be the date of conception.. but i will have to re-visit this and find out what is more accurate..
based on what she told, me I think bujju has this notion that - which might be very valid too for I Am not aware of the reasons nor the custom/logic of the notion - pregnant mothers do not travel in the even number months...
this notion coupled with the doctor's advice seemed to have put her into a different thought process of maybe delaying her travel.. but hope she does not get perturbed by this thought process of what the doctor suggested.. esp. because the doctor adviced she would feel some movement which she has not.. so maybe she feels a little concerned...
but she definitely likes to take my advice on things and I seem to most often rebutt her approach... which is not what I should do.. she tells me things as they are and I seem to just take them for granted instead of giving her sufficient benefit of doubt... CHAnGE THIS ATTITUDE
my whole thinking goes with the fact that she should be able to take some decisions on her own.. for she should know what would work best for everyone.. she will have to be given those options to think ahead in time and plan accordingly... have asked her to discuss with Amma and see what would be the best option.. hoping that travel will not be an issue at all .. will wait for my next call with her and see how to work this out...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Expensive...
.. month..
phone bills this month will be expensive ... off my own folly yet I am not taking up anything to do something about it...
internet.. - need to trim the plan
phone... again spent about an expensive hour... just for some vicarious P!!! bulll crap that I am dishing out! - some alternative to Reliance and the landline
money spent with no utility value.. while the rest of the world is forging ahead.. in career and life
i am languishing
--
elections start in Maharashtra today and also in Orissa
bujju said she'd go to the doc and then go vote.. hope both get done soon...
my official calls start from today
phone bills this month will be expensive ... off my own folly yet I am not taking up anything to do something about it...
internet.. - need to trim the plan
phone... again spent about an expensive hour... just for some vicarious P!!! bulll crap that I am dishing out! - some alternative to Reliance and the landline
money spent with no utility value.. while the rest of the world is forging ahead.. in career and life
i am languishing
--
elections start in Maharashtra today and also in Orissa
bujju said she'd go to the doc and then go vote.. hope both get done soon...
my official calls start from today
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
email post 1
I am hoping from today, the email posting will help me write in whenever want to… without forgetting to log in and write esp. ‘cos work seems to be of a very different nature now
---
I am always using the word ‘hoping to’, ‘thinking of’, ‘want to’ but never have I been always ‘doing’ and ‘being’ what I want to do and be
I am changing that from now.
I am positive that I will work towards my MBA successfully
I am positive that I will manage work and schedules and will still have time on hand
I will not crib about difficult things but find a way to circumvent it
I will work smarter which should help me getting the most work done in the least time.
--
Reading about economics in the study material brought out the ‘moral and ethical’ business practices vs. the economic practices – so based on that material it is clear that profits are always going to be the key for private organizations in a mixed economy while what the government does in a mixed economy SHOULD be for the public good which DOES NOT seem to be the case with our government.
So the cribbing I did about how the private players are not focusing on actual customer service but are only playing for profits is theoretically correct on their part.
--
Bujju might be readying herself for mother-in-law’s birthday on 18th! Will ask what her plans are.
The baby is 18 weeks.. 148 more days to go as per the dates I calculated.. I am still hoping 09 09 09 would be realized albeit it might be a little too far fetched for me to think of it without a doctor telling me the suitable period.
Even 18 09 09 should be fine for that will be a gift to Amma Pappa for their anniversary!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Work call
Work call happened at 630pm today.. confusing but it seems there is a lot to work on once I get started... performance will be measured based on the delivery dates being met...
tight deal but I hope I understand things quickly
time spent on this + studies and on home front... needs to be planned
Pranjal passed MBA with 61%.. if he is able to do things.. why can't i.. - just 'cos I am online all night...
got electoral rolls list.. name's in it.. but then ID card not arrived yet.
tight deal but I hope I understand things quickly
time spent on this + studies and on home front... needs to be planned
Pranjal passed MBA with 61%.. if he is able to do things.. why can't i.. - just 'cos I am online all night...
got electoral rolls list.. name's in it.. but then ID card not arrived yet.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Historic Monday
Tech Mahindra won over the Satyam financial bid at 58/share
Now this is good news or bad.. I don't know but it is a historic news
The results of this will come forth later but till then I need to work towards my goals...
Other events came forth which have made me mad at myself again but I just don't seem to correct things through a change in my behavior.
a. the MBA study material came over today as my project starts tomorrow... what a waste of time I did.. that I have not been able to utilize the last one year and now everything is all coming at the same time
b. I have wasted almost $129 towards PMI membership and have taken nothing in return... what a waste of money almost Rs. 45000
c. Got a little involved in Pranjal's stake of getting some suply of Mango pulp for his export. But then, didn't really put in enough into it since I didn't have a clue how this whole thing will work for me.
I am absolutely not using my given resources to think for the better of my future... I probably am not fit for this but I am not sure what is the way I have ahead to do something different...
the perceived need for money stops me from taking any steps towards anywhere... for fearing I will lose the money I am getting in my hand.. but then I am such..
just need to focus on the task on hand they say, but then what about the pending things I have created for myself????
books in Indore, the construction work to be done there.. how to pay for that???
Bujju seemed to have got her hands on some pregnancy book and it seemed to have caught her fancy... well good for her, she will learn something interesting about the whole process...
Got a ticket booked for 8th May for Indore.. WL31 and I am told it will not be confirmed... so it seems a tight chance and I will have to go again and get a TatKal ticket... on 3rd May!!!
Now this is good news or bad.. I don't know but it is a historic news
The results of this will come forth later but till then I need to work towards my goals...
Other events came forth which have made me mad at myself again but I just don't seem to correct things through a change in my behavior.
a. the MBA study material came over today as my project starts tomorrow... what a waste of time I did.. that I have not been able to utilize the last one year and now everything is all coming at the same time
b. I have wasted almost $129 towards PMI membership and have taken nothing in return... what a waste of money almost Rs. 45000
c. Got a little involved in Pranjal's stake of getting some suply of Mango pulp for his export. But then, didn't really put in enough into it since I didn't have a clue how this whole thing will work for me.
I am absolutely not using my given resources to think for the better of my future... I probably am not fit for this but I am not sure what is the way I have ahead to do something different...
the perceived need for money stops me from taking any steps towards anywhere... for fearing I will lose the money I am getting in my hand.. but then I am such..
just need to focus on the task on hand they say, but then what about the pending things I have created for myself????
books in Indore, the construction work to be done there.. how to pay for that???
Bujju seemed to have got her hands on some pregnancy book and it seemed to have caught her fancy... well good for her, she will learn something interesting about the whole process...
Got a ticket booked for 8th May for Indore.. WL31 and I am told it will not be confirmed... so it seems a tight chance and I will have to go again and get a TatKal ticket... on 3rd May!!!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Long Weekend
As the weekend wears away, I seem to have done some benefitial work this time I think.
at least got the 8 novels advertised and found people who might be willing to take them - for free.
left them at Venkat's place last night where I spent 7 hours - copying the movies he has downloaded... some daring ones...
also got done the floor cleaning, though the strip to embed the phone wire and cable wire is still pending.
Also didn't get around to buying a table. Will need a electric surge strip once I get the table.
NO STUDIES AT ALL
today went to Jayant's new office.. a place I would have been wanting to go for the last 1 year... time has really flown away from me....
also managed to replace the mop with a small stool and a board for keeping track of schedules and work
Bujju went for her ultrasound scan today. I am quite impatient to see how the images are coming around.. She seemed a little disturbed but I hope everything will be fine..
got the PRD submitted today. I am just not expecting anything from the company any more..
in fact, the other twist in the tale is the project Pranjal has got into.
The Chinese import order has him high.. and he is asking me to get on to the bandwagon.. a ploy he uses to inspires people but then who knows.. if it is something I can do.. I should be able to get back home
Yesterday saw Mr. G N Aiyar at Raju's residence location.
I wanted to go meet him but then I Realised.. if those people are not even bothered to talk to pappa, why should I even want to interfere in their lives?
Pappa has been totally ignored by them.. but Pappa wants to keep the bridges on.. just like I would want to but that is what makes us so very foolish that we don't focus on things which are more important to maintain our social status.
Didn't really sleep well last night thinking about this...
Also, when I spoke to Shanu last night, felt very disconnected from him the way he went about explaining what his plans were..
I believe once he has found his life, he would not look twice back... He has found a partner, he has a job, and he knows where he wants to go next.
Probably he doesn't want to keep his bridges with any of us.. but then that's something he has to be specific about. Maybe he thinks that just by calling up once or twice a month, the bridge will be kept alive...
he has been talking about a lot of things.. but I guess he has totally got involved in his life there..
don't know why Amma and Pappa have been given this kind of a situation.. but I am sad for them.. which is why I am myself not able to focus on my life and work...
don't know where all this will lead to... for them and me...
at least got the 8 novels advertised and found people who might be willing to take them - for free.
left them at Venkat's place last night where I spent 7 hours - copying the movies he has downloaded... some daring ones...
also got done the floor cleaning, though the strip to embed the phone wire and cable wire is still pending.
Also didn't get around to buying a table. Will need a electric surge strip once I get the table.
NO STUDIES AT ALL
today went to Jayant's new office.. a place I would have been wanting to go for the last 1 year... time has really flown away from me....
also managed to replace the mop with a small stool and a board for keeping track of schedules and work
Bujju went for her ultrasound scan today. I am quite impatient to see how the images are coming around.. She seemed a little disturbed but I hope everything will be fine..
got the PRD submitted today. I am just not expecting anything from the company any more..
in fact, the other twist in the tale is the project Pranjal has got into.
The Chinese import order has him high.. and he is asking me to get on to the bandwagon.. a ploy he uses to inspires people but then who knows.. if it is something I can do.. I should be able to get back home
Yesterday saw Mr. G N Aiyar at Raju's residence location.
I wanted to go meet him but then I Realised.. if those people are not even bothered to talk to pappa, why should I even want to interfere in their lives?
Pappa has been totally ignored by them.. but Pappa wants to keep the bridges on.. just like I would want to but that is what makes us so very foolish that we don't focus on things which are more important to maintain our social status.
Didn't really sleep well last night thinking about this...
Also, when I spoke to Shanu last night, felt very disconnected from him the way he went about explaining what his plans were..
I believe once he has found his life, he would not look twice back... He has found a partner, he has a job, and he knows where he wants to go next.
Probably he doesn't want to keep his bridges with any of us.. but then that's something he has to be specific about. Maybe he thinks that just by calling up once or twice a month, the bridge will be kept alive...
he has been talking about a lot of things.. but I guess he has totally got involved in his life there..
don't know why Amma and Pappa have been given this kind of a situation.. but I am sad for them.. which is why I am myself not able to focus on my life and work...
don't know where all this will lead to... for them and me...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday decided the fate
Of all hopes, that of work starting finally on 14th is here.
Got a call set up with the DM HUB for Tuesday 630pm to 730 pm which will eventually propel me into the work force and I will have to start my battles now...
hate the late timing but I guess I will have to work my way around now!!!
have to also get my leave plans in place for everyone to know!
and had an interesting phone tete-a-tete with some interesting fantas... wish the charges were not that much to talk long distance!!! paying through my nose..
Got a call set up with the DM HUB for Tuesday 630pm to 730 pm which will eventually propel me into the work force and I will have to start my battles now...
hate the late timing but I guess I will have to work my way around now!!!
have to also get my leave plans in place for everyone to know!
and had an interesting phone tete-a-tete with some interesting fantas... wish the charges were not that much to talk long distance!!! paying through my nose..
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Final Thursday
Not much happened on Thursday
I ended up going to J J Mehta and got a new ENEL1 replacing the old one..
and got Tissot set up.. paid 150/- for the cell
travel killed the day! 2 hrs to get from Dadar to Office and 3 hrs from Office home...
what is happening to this city.. people are tolerating everything.
the place will be hellier soon..
I need to get out of here for the betterment of myself and all those with me
I ended up going to J J Mehta and got a new ENEL1 replacing the old one..
and got Tissot set up.. paid 150/- for the cell
travel killed the day! 2 hrs to get from Dadar to Office and 3 hrs from Office home...
what is happening to this city.. people are tolerating everything.
the place will be hellier soon..
I need to get out of here for the betterment of myself and all those with me
Week ruled out
With Good Friday around and Monday being a holiday in UK, my work starts from Tuesday next...
Interesting that I am getting so much time but not making any use of it...
I am still not sure how I could make use of my time when I am so far away in office from where I would want to go and meet people..
the office location is the big pain factor..
but I am praying and hoping that things must ease out for me to be able to work from Indore...
Got an appraisal discussion.. disappointed with the way it was conducted but today, given the way things have turned out .. better to accept whatever is coming along....
MBA and Sanskrit and PMP are on the agenda but when.. is a big question
Interesting that I am getting so much time but not making any use of it...
I am still not sure how I could make use of my time when I am so far away in office from where I would want to go and meet people..
the office location is the big pain factor..
but I am praying and hoping that things must ease out for me to be able to work from Indore...
Got an appraisal discussion.. disappointed with the way it was conducted but today, given the way things have turned out .. better to accept whatever is coming along....
MBA and Sanskrit and PMP are on the agenda but when.. is a big question
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tentative Tuesday
I am waiting with bated breath to start off with the handover.. trying to internally figure out how I will have to deal with the work that will come my way.
Some pointers I had earlier were to be able to influence people and negotiate things with them. Now in my world where I shy away from meeting people, I wonder how I will be in a position to work on the above two factors.
At the end of the day, there is always an escape route they say... every Chakravyuha can be exited if one is willing to live with the consequences of exiting it without a fight.. Am I ready for it??
will I be able to share this meassage - that I want to quit this Chakravyuha because I was never meant to be in it but that I should have been elsewhere doing something else, of which I don't know - with the people who matter to me?
So far I have not attempted enough to share this with my parents. It is too late now to share this with them.. for we are all living in the fear that we will lose our financial freedom, of whatever we have now if I change my tracks.
Will I be able to share it with my kids? My wife probably will understand what I mean but not within the context I would say for my context is too huge at times... all the time actually.. but regarding this specific fear of economic/financial bond that I am tied to, I am sure she understands with not much of a solution that she can think of.
I for one, have to expand my thought process which I realise now is very very narrow. I am not thinking beyond a lot of things, and I believe that is what is keeping me back... from doing what I want to do, fighting in the Chakravyuha that I really would enjoy fighting in...
How do I do this expansion of thinking? of getting over my fear??? who do I ask?
What message do I send to the one who is coming along?
Today - Wednesday 080409, on my way to work, again I fell into this trap of fear... what if in Sept, I don't get to go home because of some or the other issue with work schedule? How do I cope with this?
I don't have answers now... I am not out of that trap yet
Some pointers I had earlier were to be able to influence people and negotiate things with them. Now in my world where I shy away from meeting people, I wonder how I will be in a position to work on the above two factors.
At the end of the day, there is always an escape route they say... every Chakravyuha can be exited if one is willing to live with the consequences of exiting it without a fight.. Am I ready for it??
will I be able to share this meassage - that I want to quit this Chakravyuha because I was never meant to be in it but that I should have been elsewhere doing something else, of which I don't know - with the people who matter to me?
So far I have not attempted enough to share this with my parents. It is too late now to share this with them.. for we are all living in the fear that we will lose our financial freedom, of whatever we have now if I change my tracks.
Will I be able to share it with my kids? My wife probably will understand what I mean but not within the context I would say for my context is too huge at times... all the time actually.. but regarding this specific fear of economic/financial bond that I am tied to, I am sure she understands with not much of a solution that she can think of.
I for one, have to expand my thought process which I realise now is very very narrow. I am not thinking beyond a lot of things, and I believe that is what is keeping me back... from doing what I want to do, fighting in the Chakravyuha that I really would enjoy fighting in...
How do I do this expansion of thinking? of getting over my fear??? who do I ask?
What message do I send to the one who is coming along?
Today - Wednesday 080409, on my way to work, again I fell into this trap of fear... what if in Sept, I don't get to go home because of some or the other issue with work schedule? How do I cope with this?
I don't have answers now... I am not out of that trap yet
Monday, April 6, 2009
Work kick off
Had a con call starting the transition
my counterpart.. apparently is on leave?!!
i heard nothing from him nor with anyone else around about his presence
they will blame me if I don't raise this issue that he is not available...
on the call they discussed how TechM is taking over work from all vendors and that this will call for very high level of work involvement and people have to be prepared for it.. and by 31st May one has to be totally ready for doing things independently...
i pray for help from my senses and health and my self confidence to be able to take this up positively and also be able to work on my other priorities...
so help me God!!
got the news about the tickets being booked from BAM - HYD and with a break journey for bujju to CSTM but with a messup that the break journey ticket got booked for both bro and sis...
apparently, the agent screwed and though I should not have, I shouted at her for not planning things properly... felt bad after I did so...
my counterpart.. apparently is on leave?!!
i heard nothing from him nor with anyone else around about his presence
they will blame me if I don't raise this issue that he is not available...
on the call they discussed how TechM is taking over work from all vendors and that this will call for very high level of work involvement and people have to be prepared for it.. and by 31st May one has to be totally ready for doing things independently...
i pray for help from my senses and health and my self confidence to be able to take this up positively and also be able to work on my other priorities...
so help me God!!
got the news about the tickets being booked from BAM - HYD and with a break journey for bujju to CSTM but with a messup that the break journey ticket got booked for both bro and sis...
apparently, the agent screwed and though I should not have, I shouted at her for not planning things properly... felt bad after I did so...
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Final Sunday rest
The final sunday passed with apprehension about what is to unfold from tomorrow..
The transition plan begins tomorrow
The main problem for me is the inability to say No.. which kind of leads me to take on everything without planning for my other tasks.
I need to keep track of my tasks and I need to plan my days accordingly and inform people of any such events. This is the only way I think I could tide over the issue of my apprehensions.
Need to plan for travel on 24th Apr. and then sometime around May 8th.
Hoping of all hopes that things will be carried out smoothly.
Sunday passed with other house work. Met up with Atul Gulati at Goregaon market and did some ad hoc shopping for the house. Planned to get out to give the old novels away but it seems they are to remain in the house for some more time. Could not go to Dadar for the Tissot watch repair also.
India is playing NZ in their 3rd and final test match and this seems to be a historic win for India in their series - after 41 years.
Not sure how the baby is going to take all this.. Hope I am able to work on the future tasks with more efficiency and more patience and planning.
The transition plan begins tomorrow
The main problem for me is the inability to say No.. which kind of leads me to take on everything without planning for my other tasks.
I need to keep track of my tasks and I need to plan my days accordingly and inform people of any such events. This is the only way I think I could tide over the issue of my apprehensions.
Need to plan for travel on 24th Apr. and then sometime around May 8th.
Hoping of all hopes that things will be carried out smoothly.
Sunday passed with other house work. Met up with Atul Gulati at Goregaon market and did some ad hoc shopping for the house. Planned to get out to give the old novels away but it seems they are to remain in the house for some more time. Could not go to Dadar for the Tissot watch repair also.
India is playing NZ in their 3rd and final test match and this seems to be a historic win for India in their series - after 41 years.
Not sure how the baby is going to take all this.. Hope I am able to work on the future tasks with more efficiency and more patience and planning.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
hot bothering Sunday
Pest control contract restarted..
Sweaty and totally swamped sunday
kept on wondering how I will be able to get working with the new assignment on Monday and also ensure rest of my work does not suffer...
going back in time to the early 2006 when I Was working on MBPT/BACE - used to return back late.. and get to sleep.. there was no TV and no internet then...
somehow, will have to ensure that I don't work beyond 8 hrs...
my worrying will have to stop and get translated into action
and these late nights might take a hit...
Sweaty and totally swamped sunday
kept on wondering how I will be able to get working with the new assignment on Monday and also ensure rest of my work does not suffer...
going back in time to the early 2006 when I Was working on MBPT/BACE - used to return back late.. and get to sleep.. there was no TV and no internet then...
somehow, will have to ensure that I don't work beyond 8 hrs...
my worrying will have to stop and get translated into action
and these late nights might take a hit...
Friday, April 3, 2009
ssdd
now i am losing time and patience more so...
this week we were to start work.. didn't happen
in a way i was happy that i will get time to prepare..
but prepare crap I did..
wasted time again online.. and like last night.. was trying to get into a vicarious situation for which I am paying through my nose...
and then this pain in the temples.. as though something hit me there.. i hit my head on the headboard last night ... didn't sleep well at all.. and my left eyelid is also weak.. doesn't open when i force my eyes shut.. needs a lot of rest. i have not been sleeping well at all!!!!
this has to either stop or the calls will have to originate from there which they do but don't last long enough
I am also losing time on the PMP preparation. I might as well go for it now.. but again... i am riddled with this nonsensical fear that I will not be able to catch up and study
i tried to encourage myself that since Pranjal was able to study while working, with 2 kids at home, why am I so lousy in this aspect?
the response is that I am too weak to control my senses and my sense of self control seems to be waning because I am not putting in the effort to strengthen it
it is me who is the culprit yet I am not taking any action on this!!! till when?
I know I will regret my decisions now later... yet I am not tightening my belt!!
is the condition of my house a reason? possible... maybe if I rearrange things a bit, it might be better and might show me the change I need...
basically I need a study table...
Bujju finally booked the tickets for 22nd.. and I need to book mine for the 24th to reach Hyd on 25th...
it has been very hot till last evening.. today was a little better..
the anti-termite work got over yesterday evening at Indore...
the anti cockroach treatment seemed to have brought out very little cockroaches as Amma said... maybe there is some other way they have escaped?!!!
nevertheless, the termite protection needs to work and hopefully the mound needs to move away...
this week we were to start work.. didn't happen
in a way i was happy that i will get time to prepare..
but prepare crap I did..
wasted time again online.. and like last night.. was trying to get into a vicarious situation for which I am paying through my nose...
and then this pain in the temples.. as though something hit me there.. i hit my head on the headboard last night ... didn't sleep well at all.. and my left eyelid is also weak.. doesn't open when i force my eyes shut.. needs a lot of rest. i have not been sleeping well at all!!!!
this has to either stop or the calls will have to originate from there which they do but don't last long enough
I am also losing time on the PMP preparation. I might as well go for it now.. but again... i am riddled with this nonsensical fear that I will not be able to catch up and study
i tried to encourage myself that since Pranjal was able to study while working, with 2 kids at home, why am I so lousy in this aspect?
the response is that I am too weak to control my senses and my sense of self control seems to be waning because I am not putting in the effort to strengthen it
it is me who is the culprit yet I am not taking any action on this!!! till when?
I know I will regret my decisions now later... yet I am not tightening my belt!!
is the condition of my house a reason? possible... maybe if I rearrange things a bit, it might be better and might show me the change I need...
basically I need a study table...
Bujju finally booked the tickets for 22nd.. and I need to book mine for the 24th to reach Hyd on 25th...
it has been very hot till last evening.. today was a little better..
the anti-termite work got over yesterday evening at Indore...
the anti cockroach treatment seemed to have brought out very little cockroaches as Amma said... maybe there is some other way they have escaped?!!!
nevertheless, the termite protection needs to work and hopefully the mound needs to move away...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
moving forward
As weeks pass, we are coming closer to the day of reckoning...
Today was another slow day, though got to attend one call and it seemed to me that apparently, the manager is leaving everything on me to take up and go with the flow as work turns on me...
I don't see any specific help from him, and he I believe is watching my moves.. and how I take things on..
We are officially supposed to launch tomorrow.. and till 630pm, there is no word of a call tomorrow for the kick off.. not sure what is happening.
Bujju in the meantime has made her move.. she starts for hyd on 22nd Apr. and we discussed today the next travel date to Bombay.. for 25th or 26th as the tickets get available..
she seems to see the pinch in the pocket for her brother since he is spending on almost everything since she went there, for her tests, medicines.. and given his position at work, it could be a tall order.. but then.. that's probably the best they could do.
don't want to take too many off days from work now, to spare this for later.. and I hope I can get that time out soon.
Sent out my MBA form yesterday, and hoping to get started soon.. have to get very serious about every moment from Apr 1st that was what I had decided.. no more online internet in the evenings... except for checking mails - strictly.
I have not watched TV in almost about 10 days.
Bujju will need to do some work when we are back in Bombay, esp. with the heat catching up on us.. it's very hot in the noon and I am very concerned how she can manage alone at home.
maybe we have to try the wet bedsheet technique so that we get some cooler air into the house.... will have to play it as it comes...
Today was another slow day, though got to attend one call and it seemed to me that apparently, the manager is leaving everything on me to take up and go with the flow as work turns on me...
I don't see any specific help from him, and he I believe is watching my moves.. and how I take things on..
We are officially supposed to launch tomorrow.. and till 630pm, there is no word of a call tomorrow for the kick off.. not sure what is happening.
Bujju in the meantime has made her move.. she starts for hyd on 22nd Apr. and we discussed today the next travel date to Bombay.. for 25th or 26th as the tickets get available..
she seems to see the pinch in the pocket for her brother since he is spending on almost everything since she went there, for her tests, medicines.. and given his position at work, it could be a tall order.. but then.. that's probably the best they could do.
don't want to take too many off days from work now, to spare this for later.. and I hope I can get that time out soon.
Sent out my MBA form yesterday, and hoping to get started soon.. have to get very serious about every moment from Apr 1st that was what I had decided.. no more online internet in the evenings... except for checking mails - strictly.
I have not watched TV in almost about 10 days.
Bujju will need to do some work when we are back in Bombay, esp. with the heat catching up on us.. it's very hot in the noon and I am very concerned how she can manage alone at home.
maybe we have to try the wet bedsheet technique so that we get some cooler air into the house.... will have to play it as it comes...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Dawn of work
One full year that I have been officially out of a project.
And from Monday, work starts...
now one year is a huge time gap... and a huge gain or loss depending on what has been achieved. At the economic front I achieved nothing. On the family front, additional responsibility... in one year, nothing else at all...
that's a huge waste of my time and energy.. all that was spent online in the evenings, doing nothing but shaggin off to videos and chats...
where do I account for this in my life in the future. how can I say that I really did make any meaningful progress in life in the last 3 years, of which the last 1 year was the most taunting, most whiled away time.. achieving close to 0 progress in life...
no car
no renter for the garage
no purchases in the house
no meaningful investment that I can expect to give me returns in life.
what did I do than just give in to my vicarious pleasures???? at the cost of loss of time, respect and knowledge..
i can't do anything now but ensure the future is not like this... which I believe will depend on how I take the time on from today. today, had this discussion about the way forward from Monday when I will be taking over some role from someone of Virtusa..
I am just apprehensive about my leave part though I think I need to show a cool face and keep a cool attitude to avoid giving into 'emotions'
Have to chalk out a plan for the Indore work financing etc. for the first floor roofing and maybe if possible, buying the plot next door.. but as Amma said, we don't take decisions and don't take decisions come what may to move forward...
As Sameer also said today, moving forward is the only way, for which some steps will have to be taken today.. and I think I am becoming more and more like Pappa who now shows no interest in taking any decisions.. mainly because of the funds issue..
how we get enslaved by inadequacies... that money places on our minds...
managing money is like managing time.. and I need to learn both soon..
Bujju unleashed the April's day quite creatively this morning... telling me that she booked of return tickets and then when I called to confirm.. I played right into the joke .. very smart of her
She hopefully should be back with me by the end of the month
I have to clean up my house now or never... move the shelf out of the place by selling off or giving away the books to someone because I myself will never use those books again in my life.. so also goes for the books in Indore..
the baby by the time grows up to talk about books I will never be able to convince to read the older books... but that's one reason.. other one being lack of any kind of space in the house... and again, lack of monetary management skills to get into a bigger house... and the constant nag for me to move back to Indore...
too many of these parameters that I am playing with .. not moving anywhere with them
And from Monday, work starts...
now one year is a huge time gap... and a huge gain or loss depending on what has been achieved. At the economic front I achieved nothing. On the family front, additional responsibility... in one year, nothing else at all...
that's a huge waste of my time and energy.. all that was spent online in the evenings, doing nothing but shaggin off to videos and chats...
where do I account for this in my life in the future. how can I say that I really did make any meaningful progress in life in the last 3 years, of which the last 1 year was the most taunting, most whiled away time.. achieving close to 0 progress in life...
no car
no renter for the garage
no purchases in the house
no meaningful investment that I can expect to give me returns in life.
what did I do than just give in to my vicarious pleasures???? at the cost of loss of time, respect and knowledge..
i can't do anything now but ensure the future is not like this... which I believe will depend on how I take the time on from today. today, had this discussion about the way forward from Monday when I will be taking over some role from someone of Virtusa..
I am just apprehensive about my leave part though I think I need to show a cool face and keep a cool attitude to avoid giving into 'emotions'
Have to chalk out a plan for the Indore work financing etc. for the first floor roofing and maybe if possible, buying the plot next door.. but as Amma said, we don't take decisions and don't take decisions come what may to move forward...
As Sameer also said today, moving forward is the only way, for which some steps will have to be taken today.. and I think I am becoming more and more like Pappa who now shows no interest in taking any decisions.. mainly because of the funds issue..
how we get enslaved by inadequacies... that money places on our minds...
managing money is like managing time.. and I need to learn both soon..
Bujju unleashed the April's day quite creatively this morning... telling me that she booked of return tickets and then when I called to confirm.. I played right into the joke .. very smart of her
She hopefully should be back with me by the end of the month
I have to clean up my house now or never... move the shelf out of the place by selling off or giving away the books to someone because I myself will never use those books again in my life.. so also goes for the books in Indore..
the baby by the time grows up to talk about books I will never be able to convince to read the older books... but that's one reason.. other one being lack of any kind of space in the house... and again, lack of monetary management skills to get into a bigger house... and the constant nag for me to move back to Indore...
too many of these parameters that I am playing with .. not moving anywhere with them
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)