ssdd

now i am losing time and patience more so...
this week we were to start work.. didn't happen
in a way i was happy that i will get time to prepare..
but prepare crap I did..
wasted time again online.. and like last night.. was trying to get into a vicarious situation for which I am paying through my nose...
and then this pain in the temples.. as though something hit me there.. i hit my head on the headboard last night ... didn't sleep well at all.. and my left eyelid is also weak.. doesn't open when i force my eyes shut.. needs a lot of rest. i have not been sleeping well at all!!!!

this has to either stop or the calls will have to originate from there which they do but don't last long enough
I am also losing time on the PMP preparation. I might as well go for it now.. but again... i am riddled with this nonsensical fear that I will not be able to catch up and study

i tried to encourage myself that since Pranjal was able to study while working, with 2 kids at home, why am I so lousy in this aspect?
the response is that I am too weak to control my senses and my sense of self control seems to be waning because I am not putting in the effort to strengthen it

it is me who is the culprit yet I am not taking any action on this!!! till when?
I know I will regret my decisions now later... yet I am not tightening my belt!!
is the condition of my house a reason? possible... maybe if I rearrange things a bit, it might be better and might show me the change I need...

basically I need a study table...

Bujju finally booked the tickets for 22nd.. and I need to book mine for the 24th to reach Hyd on 25th...

it has been very hot till last evening.. today was a little better..
the anti-termite work got over yesterday evening at Indore...
the anti cockroach treatment seemed to have brought out very little cockroaches as Amma said... maybe there is some other way they have escaped?!!!
nevertheless, the termite protection needs to work and hopefully the mound needs to move away...