Dawn of work

One full year that I have been officially out of a project.
And from Monday, work starts...

now one year is a huge time gap... and a huge gain or loss depending on what has been achieved. At the economic front I achieved nothing. On the family front, additional responsibility... in one year, nothing else at all...
that's a huge waste of my time and energy.. all that was spent online in the evenings, doing nothing but shaggin off to videos and chats...

where do I account for this in my life in the future. how can I say that I really did make any meaningful progress in life in the last 3 years, of which the last 1 year was the most taunting, most whiled away time.. achieving close to 0 progress in life...
no car
no renter for the garage
no purchases in the house
no meaningful investment that I can expect to give me returns in life.

what did I do than just give in to my vicarious pleasures???? at the cost of loss of time, respect and knowledge..

i can't do anything now but ensure the future is not like this... which I believe will depend on how I take the time on from today. today, had this discussion about the way forward from Monday when I will be taking over some role from someone of Virtusa..
I am just apprehensive about my leave part though I think I need to show a cool face and keep a cool attitude to avoid giving into 'emotions'
Have to chalk out a plan for the Indore work financing etc. for the first floor roofing and maybe if possible, buying the plot next door.. but as Amma said, we don't take decisions and don't take decisions come what may to move forward...
As Sameer also said today, moving forward is the only way, for which some steps will have to be taken today.. and I think I am becoming more and more like Pappa who now shows no interest in taking any decisions.. mainly because of the funds issue..

how we get enslaved by inadequacies... that money places on our minds...
managing money is like managing time.. and I need to learn both soon..

Bujju unleashed the April's day quite creatively this morning... telling me that she booked of return tickets and then when I called to confirm.. I played right into the joke .. very smart of her

She hopefully should be back with me by the end of the month
I have to clean up my house now or never... move the shelf out of the place by selling off or giving away the books to someone because I myself will never use those books again in my life.. so also goes for the books in Indore..
the baby by the time grows up to talk about books I will never be able to convince to read the older books... but that's one reason.. other one being lack of any kind of space in the house... and again, lack of monetary management skills to get into a bigger house... and the constant nag for me to move back to Indore...

too many of these parameters that I am playing with .. not moving anywhere with them