Over the last few days I am back to my routine in Bombay..Internet.. TV… and then sleeping
My patience levels are running out … and I fear more.than before...
I need a break from this fear and the only way for that is to identify all that I fear and tackle them each one by one.
I don’t want to transmit this fear to the new life coming up… and I need a solution for this at the earliest. Maybe the visit to the psychologist is a need….
Bujju went to the doctor today.. and said she saw the face of the baby.. that’s an amazing thing. I wish I was also there and was able to share the moment with her.
She says the baby looked like the face of the poster baby we have… that’s an interesting thought… :> how the mind seeks such signs to think everything is well and good…
The doc has said that everything is fine with the baby and the brain development is also good… - that amma was concerned about – but I am not sure how the brain development is possible to see via a sonography…
But there are issues that bother me otherwise too.. there is severe water shortage in our house.. drinking water. Indore is turning into a messy place but unfortunately, the place is such that we have decided to live there for good… well Amma in a way didn’t but papa went ahead – with our silent agreement – to build a house, to ensure we all lived with him. He never thought of the way the future might turn out to be.. and in a way I am also turning out to be like that I am afraid.
Ok, let me use this platform to list out my fears
I am not thinking of the future of our life in terms of
- where to settle down,
- how to fend for kids education and future
- how to manage retirement
- what I should do after retirement so that I don’t end up with no income at all
- what do I do if I am not into IT
- what are the alternative professions I should look for and soon
there are so many more to write but my patience is running out...
there is a huge state of confusion and I need to get some grip on where to start from. I have taken the appointment with the psychologist. It’s a practice that they would eventually pass the buck back to me but let me try at least…
watched the play Chanakya yesterday. Another of those social outings that kept me tongue tied and didn’t get me to explore the deeper meanings of human interactions.
Dadar flat is to undergo renovation and that's another incident that made me go there this weekend. to take pictures of the flat the way it is today.. for tomorrow that birth place of mine will have changed into something totally different...
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