began our journey ito the baby territory on Saturday.. on Mom's b'day and landed in Indore on Mother's day... it all seems to be getting in to place...
this is week 22nd.. and now I hope bujju will feel much better without all the tension she had been facing of handling things all on her own
it's going to be tight for me and her ..but i am sure it will be manageable..
more to come after her tests tomorrow...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
fatherhood blogs
have to figure out how to be more expressive as a father... blogwise and othewise
have to read up some good blogs and see how people do it
have to read up some good blogs and see how people do it
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
change in work
The day began with training - cross cultural sensitivity..
it ended with the note that my work of transition needs to be stopped...
in a way.. i feel happy
in a way.. i feel it might all work out in the end for me to be with the baby when it comes along...
but i am just counting on my stars now for that to happen
bujju has been trying to keep things going - with the limited manoeuvrability she has, she has been keeping the engine rolling.. i sometimes feel that I am being overprotective - lest there is some problem and I will have to shell out loads of money to get the issue resolved.. my complete approach is from the expenses perspective and that is what is keeping me so tied down to not venturing out and do things - do new things - do things differently...
i get to talk to the baby every day morning and evening... bujju acts so cutish when she talks to the baby posters... i simply love the childlike thoughts she has and her tone and at some level, though she knows she is that, she also possesses that maturity that I don't see much of.. she acts childlike but she definitely knows when to cut the crap and get to serious business..
i am hoping of all hopes that I am able to work from Indore during the months of Aug end to Sept end... so help me God!!!
the baby is in the 20th week.. and I am confused.. sometime last week also it was the 20th week.. the calculation shows this should be the 21st...
and that is a huge thing.. there is listening ability coming up soon and sensations will begin to flow in too... nature has this amazing creative power that I totally totally bow down to...
may the good forces be with the baby!!!
bal vaakyam daiva vaakyam!!! - bujju told me this day before yesterday.. she knows much.. the information comes out as needed..
she has this amazing fascination for the devi jatra that happens till Kartik Ekadasi year.. I need to write more about this in time..
for the baby, from my side, i want a mix bringing up of traditional culture and the current 'care-two-hoots' culture but I myself am not so connected with the traditional culture.. so I need to work on that.. and will need to ask bujju about how she wants to bring up the baby...
should be a very balanced mix and I hope I will be able to do justice to my own role
I want the baby to live with Amma Pappa and at least feel that companionship and also with the other elders in the family so that there is some essence that gets transferred.. but time shall only tell..
it ended with the note that my work of transition needs to be stopped...
in a way.. i feel happy
in a way.. i feel it might all work out in the end for me to be with the baby when it comes along...
but i am just counting on my stars now for that to happen
bujju has been trying to keep things going - with the limited manoeuvrability she has, she has been keeping the engine rolling.. i sometimes feel that I am being overprotective - lest there is some problem and I will have to shell out loads of money to get the issue resolved.. my complete approach is from the expenses perspective and that is what is keeping me so tied down to not venturing out and do things - do new things - do things differently...
i get to talk to the baby every day morning and evening... bujju acts so cutish when she talks to the baby posters... i simply love the childlike thoughts she has and her tone and at some level, though she knows she is that, she also possesses that maturity that I don't see much of.. she acts childlike but she definitely knows when to cut the crap and get to serious business..
i am hoping of all hopes that I am able to work from Indore during the months of Aug end to Sept end... so help me God!!!
the baby is in the 20th week.. and I am confused.. sometime last week also it was the 20th week.. the calculation shows this should be the 21st...
and that is a huge thing.. there is listening ability coming up soon and sensations will begin to flow in too... nature has this amazing creative power that I totally totally bow down to...
may the good forces be with the baby!!!
bal vaakyam daiva vaakyam!!! - bujju told me this day before yesterday.. she knows much.. the information comes out as needed..
she has this amazing fascination for the devi jatra that happens till Kartik Ekadasi year.. I need to write more about this in time..
for the baby, from my side, i want a mix bringing up of traditional culture and the current 'care-two-hoots' culture but I myself am not so connected with the traditional culture.. so I need to work on that.. and will need to ask bujju about how she wants to bring up the baby...
should be a very balanced mix and I hope I will be able to do justice to my own role
I want the baby to live with Amma Pappa and at least feel that companionship and also with the other elders in the family so that there is some essence that gets transferred.. but time shall only tell..
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Weekend of unity
The last day of this long weekend...
spent time again in domestic chores.. and no studies.. people would have cracked all their study material in this time.. but here I am
don't know why I am not able to focus on important things..
there was a dilemma in going or not going to Indore.. esp. because I thought I need to spend some time with the growing baby ball.... but then for that I should have planned things well in advance.
Now I can only but rue that I am not getting the time I need to be with bujji in this stage...
there is much to write.. esp. what thoughts we have for the baby now and how this might impact the child later in the future... who knows how much of those thoughts I will remember.. trust she will but then.. the essence of the thought and the fun element will be lost ...
so it is that capture of thoughts that I want to put here... who knows if this will be read at all.. again by me or anyone..
I wrote so much on Xanga.. I don't even read that now.. though Ido want to...
information overload!!!! it's spinning my head.
figured this morning that the Tatkal quota for 8th May is over... how pathetic of me to not figure out that in summer, people will book early and that there is limited quota... If I wanted to be there for Amma's birthday.. it didn't happen this time at least... thanks to my lazyness...
surely, I have the will but a very weak will power to make things happen....
change!!!!
spent time again in domestic chores.. and no studies.. people would have cracked all their study material in this time.. but here I am
don't know why I am not able to focus on important things..
there was a dilemma in going or not going to Indore.. esp. because I thought I need to spend some time with the growing baby ball.... but then for that I should have planned things well in advance.
Now I can only but rue that I am not getting the time I need to be with bujji in this stage...
there is much to write.. esp. what thoughts we have for the baby now and how this might impact the child later in the future... who knows how much of those thoughts I will remember.. trust she will but then.. the essence of the thought and the fun element will be lost ...
so it is that capture of thoughts that I want to put here... who knows if this will be read at all.. again by me or anyone..
I wrote so much on Xanga.. I don't even read that now.. though Ido want to...
information overload!!!! it's spinning my head.
figured this morning that the Tatkal quota for 8th May is over... how pathetic of me to not figure out that in summer, people will book early and that there is limited quota... If I wanted to be there for Amma's birthday.. it didn't happen this time at least... thanks to my lazyness...
surely, I have the will but a very weak will power to make things happen....
change!!!!
Friday, May 1, 2009
united weekend
Finally the long weekend arrived and it is already the 3rd day of it...
30th was voting day... I voted - for the 1st time in life!!!! after that Voter ID drive way back in 1990-1991
1st - Mayday!! labor day.. state holiday or national holiday.. one of them though nowadays people don't know if it is only a state holiday or a national one... everyone has become so narrowly focused.. the call center girl of IDBI said it is a Maharashtra holiday... even I have lost sense of the days... too bad to be such an absent minded guy...
Have been thinking of spending time with the baby but it never just happening in a way I thought it should.
I am not making time for the baby specifically.. and that I should in the next 5 days..
I want bujju to stay here with me for some days but also the checkup is important..
so she will have to go there but amma says I should not get her to travel so often.. so maybe I will have to keep visiting her oftener taking leave from work!
I have this concern for Bujji because she's feeling or acting scared of things.. which she should be able to handle with time
but for some reason, we get lost in our interactions so much that we just lose out on time and key thoughts to work on... it's this tendency to laze around that is kicking me and her most of the times and we are just not making up for lost time...
she is upset and rues that we didn't have sufficient interfacing in the last 3 years which even i would agree with.. we didn't. even when we are living on our own!!
There is much I thought of writing in this post, but nowadays I am writing because I want to leave a trail of thoughts we have been through.. not so much "we" 'cos I am not able to have bujji's thoughts in place as she expresses them but she has some interesting observations which make me wonder... how sharp the mind can be to be able to observe things with such minute detail and 'remember' them ...
i am happy for her being!! may she and our future be blessed...
30th was voting day... I voted - for the 1st time in life!!!! after that Voter ID drive way back in 1990-1991
1st - Mayday!! labor day.. state holiday or national holiday.. one of them though nowadays people don't know if it is only a state holiday or a national one... everyone has become so narrowly focused.. the call center girl of IDBI said it is a Maharashtra holiday... even I have lost sense of the days... too bad to be such an absent minded guy...
Have been thinking of spending time with the baby but it never just happening in a way I thought it should.
I am not making time for the baby specifically.. and that I should in the next 5 days..
I want bujju to stay here with me for some days but also the checkup is important..
so she will have to go there but amma says I should not get her to travel so often.. so maybe I will have to keep visiting her oftener taking leave from work!
I have this concern for Bujji because she's feeling or acting scared of things.. which she should be able to handle with time
but for some reason, we get lost in our interactions so much that we just lose out on time and key thoughts to work on... it's this tendency to laze around that is kicking me and her most of the times and we are just not making up for lost time...
she is upset and rues that we didn't have sufficient interfacing in the last 3 years which even i would agree with.. we didn't. even when we are living on our own!!
There is much I thought of writing in this post, but nowadays I am writing because I want to leave a trail of thoughts we have been through.. not so much "we" 'cos I am not able to have bujji's thoughts in place as she expresses them but she has some interesting observations which make me wonder... how sharp the mind can be to be able to observe things with such minute detail and 'remember' them ...
i am happy for her being!! may she and our future be blessed...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)