trying times

Since the last time I was here, things have been very trying.... for everyone in the family.. trying with worries of one kind or another...

in no specific order but in the order of the highest worries
-CWB and the threat for Pune move or lose the job. this was a huge issue which in a way has restricted all my moves, my yearnings to be with bujju and amma and apappa

-Bujju feeling harangued by amma with all the taunts amma made targeting her 'genetic issue' the high sugar levels that have been found in her.. - I hated this part the most.. how could an educated person think on those lines esp. when I don't blame anyone for their genes...
if I did, I should be the most blamed person but I really am pissed off with Amma but they are to be left on their own for they are now beyond any kind of discussion...
bujju herself is a scared individual.. all this is scaringn her but she is taking everything in her stride...
i wonder how it would feel to be on your own, in your husbands house with taunts flying around you..
bujju has cried a lot I know.. yet she has - for the sake of bubbu.. pulled along... and I have not been able to do anything about it...

-bubbu was found underweight.. when I was there during the last month.. even forget when I was I there last.. it was July 22-26th I think.. it's almost a month now..
at that time, the doctor did a Sonography and said the baby was in breech position which was a cause for concern in a way

we had a debate in the house how the doctor is probably trying to fleece with the C-Section procedure and trying to ensure the patient and the family try and give in to the doctors advice and all such doubts which usually raise the tempers in all of us in the house...

-my MBA course was another big bad surprise and shock.. now that i finished the 4 papers out of 6 and off these 4 too, not sure if I will clear all, I have a higher load on myself with my work load doubling just from today...
the assignment that has come to me from this character S Rege seemed to have pushed me into this corner from where I don't see a break out unless it is a break out of the company.. that's one thing I am getting surer of...

but I have also had renewed faith in the lord for having seen me through these times and I just hope all these thoughts get to bubbu and bubbu takes them in the stride of life he is just going to get into...

- bigger issues came on to all of the world of India
DROUGHT
the worst patch of rainfall - lack of it - has gripped all of us and that is a bigger worry for all because now with Bubbu in, I am not sure how the situation is going to impact us all in the coming times
drinking water in indore is contaminated and they are all drinking tubewell water... with whatever taste it gives
there is a worry that this water might also affect bubbu but we are leaving everything to the lord to take care of...
bajrangbali and Ganapati are my constant companions these days...
a turn on it's head for times when I was not believing that a force as the lord's existed... I think i didn't believe in such things... but dont remember

- pappa is running around with the work in the apartment.. almost single handedly he has taken life from one corner of the world to the other and he is still - touch wood - there for me.. I wish, pray and hope amma and pappa are always with me as they are today... please.... bhagwaan..

I wonder at times what kind of a situation have I got stuck in...
am feelingn all alone.. wife and parents are on their own there while we should all be together.. there is this intense need to be with them but because of the money part... I am broken and Torn!!! and no where to go to get this issue resolved...

there have been instances of thought where i did think that over the last year and a half that I wasted, these are times that will make me work for those lost times..


there are more things to write.. all about the worries we and I am going through and since today's work load situation, I am dying of the expectations being mounted on me...
bhagwan prabhu raksha karo!!

will hope to write sometime soon... if life permits...
with the kind of 12-14 hr scheds I am going to get into from TODAY, in this DELIVEYR MANAGEMENT thing, life needs to permit me...
please permit me life to be with my family and a better quality of life...

now there are only 20 days left for bubbu to arrive and I Am STUCK in this situation that will make me feel so wretched if I am not able to spend time as I was able to earlier that I will decide on leaving my job of this kind to be with my family...

but that is not a practical thought any more... i have to get an alternative options NOW and get on to it so help me lord..