last 2 weeks before deliverance

over the last one month, since I was back from Indore, lots of things happened..

i am writing them here in no specific order but the impact on the baby is probably going to be seen one day of the stress the mother has gone through in that house..

there is no one to blame but circumstances - AND - people's reaction to the circumstances.
but this can't be explained in layman terms to everyone.. esp. when it comes to women who have some kind of an issue with other women..
amma - for all she used to preach to me - seems to have gone to behave like the rest of the old women - OR SO it SEEMS but I am not sure if I am wrong on this account too...
surely, she has issues with the new mother for she expects everything to be as per her ways and means... and she does not tolerate anything that goes off that...
hats off to pappa to have been able to manage himself through all this... and also to amma to have been able to pull through all this

i feel sorry for both but I have no options in my hand - at least I am not able to THINK of any - that I could rise up to and bring them to understand how they are impacting people around


maybe the stress management or genetics, but bujju's blood sugar in control since the diet being prescribed

BP was on the higher side - doc said not to take any salt items in her last visit on 24th
also said the baby had moved off the breech position so lets hope there is a movement towards the natural process...

sometimes over the last few weeks it felt that the things are going as I want, as bujju wants.. but feel scared of being so optimistic that 'luck' could be favoring all these things...
but i hope luck does favor and things get alright for all of us...

rains are coming in the last 10 odd days only about 30 min in the morning time.. otherwise days are all dry and sunnu
water cuts will be enforced

I am going back to the Astrology book, which mentioned about the last 100 years of sun-sign birthmonths/dates
so based on that, kids born in this year 2009 will have personality impact of low rain, drought and water related worries, possibly insecurities of some kind might develop in them related to that??? - just trying my head at astrology

my project work also started right when I thought i will be able to make it for bujju in Sept.
Work started since 17th Aug and now I am in a quandry how to go on leave and fpr how long
earlier I would have taken off for more than 10 days.. but now... not sure if I will be able to
and then to bring bujju back here and adjust to all the things with the new baby...

wow... my head is not clear how I will deal with all this...
car has to be got, no other option to take them out anywhere...
maid servant will have to be hired...

increments are not coming through, don't know how my life is getting to turn out later in time.. but I am praying and hoping that the baby's life is smooth and trouble free though there is nothing like that on this planet

an advance welcome to the world bubbu.. i will be seeing soon... who you are what you are how you are

i hope one day you will read all this and think of some thoughts about us - your parents - thoughts you might not have thought before.. and wondering what kind of times were these when you were created and delivered into this world

i don't have my camera to capture the way I used to.. things on that front - camera/photography - have been relegated to the old cupboard... how i wish i could go back to it.... will have to buy a new camera shortly before I go there.. which is on 30th Aug. '09

i will at least start on photography again now that bubbu is here... !!!

Lakshmi Pinni and Uncle arrived in indore yest night. 25-08-09
it seems amma has been telling her all about bujju and her ways and means... not sure if it is with negative connotations or what... but it seems also that amma pappa are now looking at everything in a detached manner....
i can feel it ..
hope all is for the best...
more to come - more thoughts - more anxieties..