7th day ends

bubbu is a week old.. today at 1010 am she completed one week out of the womb..
time flied off.. and it's hard to imagine how quickly too...
i have not had the chance to hold her close lest she catches my cold and any virus from me...
there have been other tensions esp. related to help from buju's family..

for some reason, amma and pappa have become very irritable and very very rude..
and they are not realizing that this is a tough image they are creating..
the way pappa talked to lakshmi pinni and uncle and how he talked to doddamma today.. it was downright ugly.

they are losing their sense of balance and it is a hard decision for me now to take.. to have to live with them or not.

bubbu was taken to Dr Aparna Manjrekar last night to check on her overall normalcy esp. related to the way she rolls up her eyes and smiles and twitches her lips.. in the smiling fashion..
but she has been so far told as being normal.

bubbu has this quiet way of taking in the world around her.. she is a quiet type as of now.
once she recongnizes the mother and close ones, she might turn different..
but she has been lifted a lot of times by me and I hope I have not accidentally hurt her in any way...

she has this quiet contemplative mode she goes into and I wonder.. what a baby mind brain must be thinking..
does she have a soul some thoughts .. some identity which she will eventually develop later...
is there some way I can know when that identity begins forming in her? or is it all the conditioning we as parents are giving her?
what... who... how... why....

so many things to do.

and work tension seems to be growing with Venkat's call tonight.