Been a long time I actually wrote something sensible here for you.
My schedule has been very erratic lately
I was in Indore till 28th Sept completing 14 days there
Then I came back to Indore for the long weekend from 2nd to 4th Oct and extended it by one day – all by chance and realizing in that chance – that it was bujju’s birthday on the 5th.
So left back to Bombay on the 5th.
It’s the 9th today
There has been a constant struggle to have a decent maid who can do good work for the maalish and to wash your clothes.
The maid who was taken up for your maalish turned out to be an idiot of sorts – as thick skinned as she looks – for she was more interested in sitting on the couch, sitting on the bed and all than actually getting to do the work she is supposed to be responsible for – giving you a good maalish and exercise your growing body
Unfortunately, this is the fact and reality that to go find someone like that who is responsible towards the baby and her well being are few and far between and even if one is available, she would not be available within the range of where we live… so this was one constant struggle that we have been having, esp. amma since she has to take up this whole responsibility of handling things with respect to you and your mommy…
Unfortunately, there was not much help from anyone else who came to stay with us and so amma and pappa are struggling to make things work. I am sitting here and typing away while they work hard to make things happen.. I just sit here and talk while they do the actual work to make things a success
Coming back to what you have been keeping us busy, yesterday your mummy sent me an sms that you were awake till 3:30 in the morning and then slept off till only 5am
Not sure why you were so restless.. we can’t decipher what you think, what you want how much you want, whether you want to say something specific.. but we are only going by intuition.. and if are able to see you wetting your bed we know you cried for indicating that.. if we don’t find you wetting your bed, we know you are hungry… how simple a logic but still we think of all other possibilities and make ourselves feel unable to help you…
But you are one heck of a restless girl.. you have some good kicking power and you have used your legs effectively to get yourself moving around in the womb.. though you could not – or the doctor could not get you to come out on your own using your legs.. but lets hope you can be trained to use your legs sufficiently in life to move forward either swimming or cycling or running…
I spent a good deal of time with you in the 14 days trying to know you but here I am very restless and wonder what you might be learning or picking up when you stare around where you lie. I am sure your brain must be picking up lots of signals through all your senses and making up a pattern for you to live through but I feel how important that function of your brain is… that makes you a unique person absorbing all the signals which we adults are so ignorant of, and then help you pick up these as traits to demonstrate later in life…
I feel very restless here without you and I want to be with you but you at this age of just 26 days are not capable of understanding my emotions.. let alone your own.
On the 21st day of your life, that was the 4th of Oct 09, you were taken to the Balaji temple at Chhatribaug and it was a rainy day then
The rains had begun a day before and the weather was very cloudy for those 2-3 days when Andhra and Karnataka were also deluged with flash floods.
You had soiled your diaper and we changed it in the temple around 7pm just when the Veda-learning students were preparing to begin their veda pathanam.
The priest had remarked that we should nto have brought you out of the house so early for they in their community didn’t bring out kids till they were 2 months old.
Well so much so for learning about people’s practices.
I wish I could be with you through the next 3 months and live every moment of yours with you
I have recorded some of your movements but I am not sure how soon they will change and I want to record a lot more..
You have this wonderful way to turn to your right and watch the bed from that angle trying to do I don’t know what.. but you have also been a very quiet girl in a way ‘cos you don’t make a lot of fuss.. except when you are hungry.. I want to understand your deeper mind but no one has really been able to do that yet, so I am no superman to do that either.
I write this to express myself to you so that when you grow up, you might - MIGHT - M I G H T get a chance to read what all your dad went through when you were barely in a cognitive mode.. but then who knows if you get the time and interest to do it or not… most often, I also don’t feel like writing so then you are but just a bundle of senses till you are about 10 or so.
Well there is much other to write I think, but I end up writing only so much and then the rest gets dissipated….
It is Diwali this time on the 17th – Naraka chaturdashi and Lakshmi Pooja on the same day
I plan to leave office at 5pm and get to the bus stop at Vikhroli to get to you for Diwali day.
I hope you will be able to stand the Diwali crackers sound and we will try to keep you safe as much as possible.
Well as your mother had wished, for your 21st day, we didn’t do the following things
- Put you in a cradle
- Get you black bangles and tie the black thread around your waist
- Get you into a new dress and also put the black eyemarkers to your eyelids
Your mom had told me upfront that since she had sacrificed so much for herself she didn’t want to do that for you, but well, we started off with minimalistic things for you.
Even your cradle has been put up only on the 25th day when Pappa tied up some cloth as he told me on the phone.. let’s hope you are able to find such makeshift arrangements ok for you for now since you don’t make too much of a fuss anyway.
I hope we as parents can meet up your expectations in the times to come.
I close this note with more and more blessings and love for you and hope to write in Amitabh Bachchan’s blog also about you.
So with the best of wishes for you and hoping to see you so soon…. Lovingly yours… <whatever you will learn to call me>
